Freedom Atlast

Finally my final professional exams of medical ended, its been a beautiful, very tiring and a very elegant half a decade at my medical school. so am free, free, ffffrrrrrreeeeeeeee..

We are strange people, we long to be free and independent, live our life by our own will. We don't like being chained up, we want to be free like birds. But infact the reality is really different. We love slavery, we all do, we are slaves to our desires, wealth, hopes, success, to meet deadlines and to love ofcourse.
Its funny how we run from one cage to the next, we all want to touch that warm rays of sun of morning but by the end of the day we want the coziness of our cage back.

Freedom is limited, we are always bound by invisible chains, to our work, commitment, our loved ones, our relegion, culture. We say we want freedom, we say we are free people, we have freedom of speech, freedom to live, to do anything we like, but in reality we always are bound and always will be, in one way or another.


Rabea Kamran

The Story Of Life and Giving Birth

Life is a risky thing, especially when its not your own that is in your hands. When you know that after God its you who stands between the death and life of your patient. You fight death, utilize all your capabilities, you strive hard to win the furious battle. You hold on to life with the edges of your fingers, even when you know it not yours.


I got a chance to assist my senior doctor in a C-Section commonly known as cesarean. Its fascinating when you bring a new baby to the world from it's mother's womb. That little thing twists and cries in your arms. The adrenaline rush that you feel when you secure the bleeding and the satisfaction that you get when you see the mother nursing her new born child that you just delivered.


I have learned that life is really really short, its delicate, it's fragile and it's priceless. Yes, it is hard, sometimes cruel, it has sorrows, pains and cries but i have seen it end in smiles and peace. Believe me those pains never last long they always end when the hope emerges and fills you completely with peace and inner satisfaction. Yes, you do have scars which remain forever, but they are your medals of passing through the tough times. Don't be upset when you look back at past, Stop the past from haunting you, make it your strength and tell yourself "I got through this, i am strong  and i deserve to be happy" 


Being a final year medical student now, am bombarded with seminars, assignments and ward duties and i have learned a lot during these days and i feel more then proud on being a doctor then i ever did.

Finally Final Year

Alhumdulilah, my fourth year of medical completed today. I have been away from my bloggie, studying, now am done with exams.


Insha Allah i will come up with some new pieces very soon..

Memory Lane

She opened her drawer an took out the printed papers. It's been a year since she last saw them. She read them again and again and again..
When she had memorized every word and the tears on her cheek dried up, she took the papers and lighted them up. The smoke emnated furiously as the orange and red flames consumed the paper. In the burning fire she could  see that face..


"Seriously i don't know who is doing this to you" "I swear it isn't me" He said trying his best to sound honest while his heart was swelling with the satisfaction of victory.
"whoever it is knows you very well, why would i do it?? I am so drowned in my own sorrows" He said sitting across her gazing intently into her troubled eyes..


She shunned the thoughts of that animal with those abuses still ringing in her ear.
The fire burned with a brighter flame, the wind was strong, bits of burned paper danced in the air. The smoke started suffocating her but she stood there gazing intently into the flames consuming those papers when another face appeared in the fire..


"Get out of my house right now" He roared, she sobbed badly "Don't do this drama here, fool someone else with your innocent face" He shouted as he tried to push her out of the apartment...


The fire has almost consumed the paper, the grey ashes remained as she remembered all those hugs, kisses and those tender moments. She remembered the final goodbye with him, which has eased all the pain. They have parted on a good note. She knew that he would never hurt her no matter whatever happened.


She collected the ashes and blew them away in the wind wishing him happiness, a beautiful life and lots of love and a silent wish that she never see him again. The wind calmly blew away the ashes and she turned back satisfied and happy, free from all the chains of memories. Her phone rang and shooked her from the trance, the voice from the other end said
 " Honey you took so much time to attend the call, i miss you so much baby.. "

You make all the pain go away

It's so strange, the way you act like my personal disprin. I love the way you make my system go calm with peace that i have so longed for. 
Just the sound of your voice strings my heart to the happier notes. Damn it! How can i be so lucky? is it a dream or are you with me for real? If it is a dream i wish it to never end, i really do.


Thank you for being ears, when i wanted to share things with you, Thank you for healing me, for giving ME back to me.
Did you just popped out of my head or out of the prayers i made to God? I have been searching for you at wrong places when you were always there in front of me. 
Thank you for being the best, Thank you for being you, and yes it could have only been you..

I Love You Mom

Mum you are the best in the world.. My mentor, my teacher, my best friend... You mean everything to me.. You carried me for nine months, when as a little fetus i was alive in your womb.. When you cared for me, nourished me and kept me safe from every harm..

The day i was born i was crying, but you smiled at me, hugged me close and kissed my cheek, from that time you and i had a special relationship,.. A most precious one..

You would be patient with me when i wouldn't eat, you wouldn't eat unless i have been well fed, those lullabies that you would sing me to sleep, the stories and poems that you taught me.. You introduced me to my religion, myself, my identity. You taught me how to speak, you took my hand and showed me how to walk..
I remember those times when i had jaundice and you would be by my side, awake all night, sponging me with cold water so that my fever would decrease and you would keep praying to God to cure me..

Those times when i would come back from school crying, with bruises on my chin and knees, you cried seeing me in pain.. I still remember the way you would cautiously dab cotton soaked in antiseptic not to make me hurt..
Those times when you woke up with me in exams or helping me with my home work... Mum Thank you is a very small word for everything you have done for me..

Mum you gave my life a meaning, you gave me the self confidence which swells my heart with gratitude.. Mum i am sorry for those terrible times when i disagreed with you or raised my voice against you.. What was i thinking???
Mum you are my world, your lap is my safest sanctuary, I want to be like you. I wish i could be like you when i become a mother. all i can say is mum I love you, you made me what i am today, your blood runs in my veins, you are my identity.. I can never repay you back, no mater what i do...

© Rabea Kamran

My Love for Neurosurgery..

Since i entered a medical school wherever anyone would ask what do u wanna be i would always say "Neurosurgeon". I have always been fascinated how a little mass like a brain controls our whole body. The emotions, the thoughts, intuition, feelings, its the center of everything. 


Every time i enter the Operation theater for watching a neurosurgery i always act like a kid who has just entered Disney land. My colleagues cannot understand what is so passionate about it, and why i act so crazy. Neurosurgeons keep telling me "Beta its not an easy job, especially for delicate girls like you. It requires harsh time tables, you need to stand for almost 12 hours for the operation. Its not an easy task."  But i always reply "You did it right? because it was your passion? and am gonna do it too InshALLAH" and they just keep staring at me.


There is no limit to dreaming, just believe in them and have faith in yourself that one day you will overcome all the hurdles and make your dreams come true.

The Two more Full stops!!

I have already put a full stop to my writing, i never thought i would even open up this page again, but He took my pen and scribbled two more fullstops at the end of my single full stop. He gave it a continuity, a continuity to my thoughts, which were stagnant in my brain, which screamed to be settled on paper.


He promised he would never let my imagination rust again and would be a wall against the black shadows that ruined it and so here i am..


P.S It's been an awesome day for me. I won 2nd prize for my work in All Pakistan Environmental Exhibition 2011. This is the photo that helped me win it..