Miss me,
Kiss me,
and then
Leave me...
Rabea Kamran
Showing posts with label pain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pain. Show all posts
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
On Fairytales
When we were kids we were told fairytales, most of them starting with the line "Once upon a time". I loved them as a child, because of the fantasy and the cuteness of princesses, the handsome and kind prince and how everything ended in a happily ever after.
However this isn't the truth..
When i was told the story of Cinderella, i was told she was a young pretty girl who was tormented by her stepsisters and then be the help of a fairy God mother she met the prince and then they got married.
But why didn't anyone told me that she had the same life after marriage. Why didn't anyone told me even after getting married a girl has to work like a mule and the place of step sisters and step mother is taken by sister in laws and mother in law. Why didn't someone told me that?
When i was told the story of beauty and the beast, i was told there was a beast a really beautiful girl fell in love with him. She kissed him as he was nearly dying and he became a prince again.
Why didn't somebody tole me that in real life your prince charming turns into a beast. That beast beats and curses the woman who loves him. Why didn't someone told me that beast turned prince charming is the cause of domestic violence.
When i was told the story of little red riding hood, i was told that there was a little girl who went into woods to meet her grandmother and a wolf got there before her. He killed her grandmother and was about to eat her when some villagers nearby killed the wolf.
Why wasn't i told that this world is so full of wolves. Why wasn't i told that if you go out men would stare at you like wolves waiting to pounce on you at the first chance they get. Why didn't anyone told me that rapes were so common in our part of the world?
When i was told the story of sleeping beauty i was told that the princess was cursed by the evil witch and she slept for a long time until the curse was broken after hundred years by the kiss of the prince.
Why didn't someone told me that after falling in love hearts are broken not the curses. Why didn't somebody told me it hurts. Why didn't someone told me that suicides are so common in young people? why?
However this isn't the truth..
When i was told the story of Cinderella, i was told she was a young pretty girl who was tormented by her stepsisters and then be the help of a fairy God mother she met the prince and then they got married.
But why didn't anyone told me that she had the same life after marriage. Why didn't anyone told me even after getting married a girl has to work like a mule and the place of step sisters and step mother is taken by sister in laws and mother in law. Why didn't someone told me that?
When i was told the story of beauty and the beast, i was told there was a beast a really beautiful girl fell in love with him. She kissed him as he was nearly dying and he became a prince again.
Why didn't somebody tole me that in real life your prince charming turns into a beast. That beast beats and curses the woman who loves him. Why didn't someone told me that beast turned prince charming is the cause of domestic violence.
When i was told the story of little red riding hood, i was told that there was a little girl who went into woods to meet her grandmother and a wolf got there before her. He killed her grandmother and was about to eat her when some villagers nearby killed the wolf.
Why wasn't i told that this world is so full of wolves. Why wasn't i told that if you go out men would stare at you like wolves waiting to pounce on you at the first chance they get. Why didn't anyone told me that rapes were so common in our part of the world?
When i was told the story of sleeping beauty i was told that the princess was cursed by the evil witch and she slept for a long time until the curse was broken after hundred years by the kiss of the prince.
Why didn't someone told me that after falling in love hearts are broken not the curses. Why didn't somebody told me it hurts. Why didn't someone told me that suicides are so common in young people? why?
Monday, April 9, 2012
The Interrupted Transmission
Here i stand, with the transmission of my intuition malfunctioning.The signal disruption seems to be unending. The big bang of emotions leaves the background radiation of betrayal evading the senses.
The rising temperature of my thoughts seems to melt the receiver of waves of intuition. The fuming trust erodes the sanity out of me.
As the frequency of my soul keeps switching, the transmissions seem to be a bundle of mysteries waiting to be decoded. A code, waiting to be cracked up...
Friday, December 23, 2011
The Story Of Life and Giving Birth
Life is a risky thing, especially when its not your own that is in your hands. When you know that after God its you who stands between the death and life of your patient. You fight death, utilize all your capabilities, you strive hard to win the furious battle. You hold on to life with the edges of your fingers, even when you know it not yours.
I got a chance to assist my senior doctor in a C-Section commonly known as cesarean. Its fascinating when you bring a new baby to the world from it's mother's womb. That little thing twists and cries in your arms. The adrenaline rush that you feel when you secure the bleeding and the satisfaction that you get when you see the mother nursing her new born child that you just delivered.
I have learned that life is really really short, its delicate, it's fragile and it's priceless. Yes, it is hard, sometimes cruel, it has sorrows, pains and cries but i have seen it end in smiles and peace. Believe me those pains never last long they always end when the hope emerges and fills you completely with peace and inner satisfaction. Yes, you do have scars which remain forever, but they are your medals of passing through the tough times. Don't be upset when you look back at past, Stop the past from haunting you, make it your strength and tell yourself "I got through this, i am strong and i deserve to be happy"
Being a final year medical student now, am bombarded with seminars, assignments and ward duties and i have learned a lot during these days and i feel more then proud on being a doctor then i ever did.
I got a chance to assist my senior doctor in a C-Section commonly known as cesarean. Its fascinating when you bring a new baby to the world from it's mother's womb. That little thing twists and cries in your arms. The adrenaline rush that you feel when you secure the bleeding and the satisfaction that you get when you see the mother nursing her new born child that you just delivered.
I have learned that life is really really short, its delicate, it's fragile and it's priceless. Yes, it is hard, sometimes cruel, it has sorrows, pains and cries but i have seen it end in smiles and peace. Believe me those pains never last long they always end when the hope emerges and fills you completely with peace and inner satisfaction. Yes, you do have scars which remain forever, but they are your medals of passing through the tough times. Don't be upset when you look back at past, Stop the past from haunting you, make it your strength and tell yourself "I got through this, i am strong and i deserve to be happy"
Being a final year medical student now, am bombarded with seminars, assignments and ward duties and i have learned a lot during these days and i feel more then proud on being a doctor then i ever did.
Friday, December 2, 2011
The Little One
He cried in joy as he came out of his mother's womb. His little eyes could not produce tears this early, he cried in joy, happy to enter this world.
He imagined the love of his mother that he was going to receive, the warmth and care that would be only for him, the affection that his father would give him.
He was laid in the cold. It was so warm in the womb, he shivered slightly, his little body seemed so delicate. Finally he could move his little feet and hand freely without hurting his mother. He cried with more joy at the freedom that he had. His little ears could pick up the sounds of passing traffic around him, he longed to hear his mother's voice that he had heard all this time when he was developing into human, the sweet voice which had helped him grow.
His little hands explored the surroundings, it was wet and it smelled bad. Maybe thats how this new world is he had thought. Suddenly it started raining, he cried with glee as the rain drops fell on his new born skin. But the rain drops kept pouring at him and he shivered with cold. No one came to comfort him. No mother to keep him warm in her embrace, no dad to hug him and kiss his forehead. No relatives to make noise and the gleeful chatter, all he heard was the sound of traffic passing by the garbage chute in which he was abandoned.
He imagined the love of his mother that he was going to receive, the warmth and care that would be only for him, the affection that his father would give him.
He was laid in the cold. It was so warm in the womb, he shivered slightly, his little body seemed so delicate. Finally he could move his little feet and hand freely without hurting his mother. He cried with more joy at the freedom that he had. His little ears could pick up the sounds of passing traffic around him, he longed to hear his mother's voice that he had heard all this time when he was developing into human, the sweet voice which had helped him grow.
His little hands explored the surroundings, it was wet and it smelled bad. Maybe thats how this new world is he had thought. Suddenly it started raining, he cried with glee as the rain drops fell on his new born skin. But the rain drops kept pouring at him and he shivered with cold. No one came to comfort him. No mother to keep him warm in her embrace, no dad to hug him and kiss his forehead. No relatives to make noise and the gleeful chatter, all he heard was the sound of traffic passing by the garbage chute in which he was abandoned.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Dear Mommy
This is written to highlight the evil of abortion, it made me so touchy when i read it. i thought to share it on my blog...
Hi, Mommy.I'm your baby. You don't know me yet, I'm only a fewweeks old. You're going to find out about me soon, though, I promise. Let me tell you some things about me. My name is John, and I've got beautiful brown eyes and black hair. Well, I don't have it yet, but I will when I'm born. I'm going to be your only child, and you'll call me your one and only. I'm going to grow up without a daddy mostly, but we have each other. We'll help each other, and love each other. I want to be a doctor when I grow up.
You found out about me today, Mommy! You were so excited, you couldn't wait to tell everyone. All you could do all day was smile, and life was perfect. You have a beautiful smile, Mommy. It will be the first face I will see in my life, and it will be the best thing I see in my life. I know it already.
Today was the day you told Daddy. You were so excited to tell him about me! ...He wasn't happy, Mommy. He kind of got angry. I don't think that you noticed, but he did. He started to talk about something called wedlock, and money, and bills, and stuff I don't think I understand yet. You were still happy, though, so it was okay. Then he did something scary, Mommy. He hit you. I could feel you fall backward, and your hands flying up to protect me. I was okay... but I was very sad for you. You were crying then, Mommy. That's a sound I don't like. It doesn't make me feel good. It made me cry, too. He said sorry after,and he hugged you again. You forgave him, Mommy, but I'm not sure if I do. It wasn't right. You say he loves you... why would he hurt you? I don't like it, Mommy.
Finally, you can see me! Your stomach is a little bit bigger, and you're so proud of me! You went out with your mommy to buy new clothes,and you were so so so happy. You sing to me, too. You have the most beautiful voice in the whole wide world. When you sing is when I'm happiest. And you talk to me, and I feel safe. So safe. You just wait and see, Mommy. When I am born I will be perfect just for you. I will make you proud, and I will love you with all of my heart.
I can move my hands and feet now, Mommy. I do it because you put your hands on your belly to feel me, and I giggle. You giggle, too. I love you, Mommy.
Daddy came to see you today, Mommy. I got really scared. He was acting funny and he wasn't talking right. He said he didn't want you. I don't know why, but that's what he said. And he hit you again. I got angry, Mommy. When I grow up I promise I won't let you get hurt! I promise to protect you. Daddy is bad. I don't care if you think that he is a good person, I think he's bad. But he hit you, and he said he didn't want us. He doesn't like me. Why doesn't he like me, Mommy?
You didn't talk to me tonight, Mommy. Is everything okay?
It's been three days since you saw Daddy. You haven't talked to me or touched me or anything since that. Don't you still love me, Mommy? I still love you. I think you feel sad. The only time I feel you is when you sleep. You sleep funny, kind of curled up on your side. And you hug me with your arms, and I feel safe and warm again. Why don't you do
that when you're awake, any more?
I'm 21 weeks old today, Mommy. Aren't you proud of me? We're going somewhere today, and it's somewhere new. I'm excited. It looks like a hospital, too. I want to be a doctor when I grow up, Mommy. Did I tell you that? I hope you're as excited as I am. I can't wait.
Mommy, I'm getting scared. Your heart is still beating, but I don't know what you are thinking. The doctor is talking to you. I think something's going to happen soon. I'm really, really, really scared,
Mommy. Please tell me you love me. Then I will feel safe again. I love you!
Mommy, what are they doing to me!? It hurts! Please make them stop! It feels bad! Please, Mommy, please please help me! Make them stop!
Don't worry Mommy, I'm safe. I'm in heaven with the angels now. They told me what you did, and they said it's called an abortion.
Why, Mommy? Why did you do it? Don't you love me any more? Why did you get rid of me? I'm really, really, really sorry if I did something wrong, Mommy. I love you, Mommy! I love you with all of my heart. Why don't you love me? What did I do to deserve what they did to me? I want to live, Mommy! Please! It really, really hurts to see you not care
about me, and not talk to me. Didn't I love you enough? Please say you'll keep me, Mommy! I want to live smile and watch the clouds andsee your face and grow up and be a doctor. I don't want to be here, I want you to love me again! I'm really really really sorry if I did something wrong. I love you!
I love you, Mommy.
Every abortion is just…
One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.
Hi, Mommy.I'm your baby. You don't know me yet, I'm only a fewweeks old. You're going to find out about me soon, though, I promise. Let me tell you some things about me. My name is John, and I've got beautiful brown eyes and black hair. Well, I don't have it yet, but I will when I'm born. I'm going to be your only child, and you'll call me your one and only. I'm going to grow up without a daddy mostly, but we have each other. We'll help each other, and love each other. I want to be a doctor when I grow up.
You found out about me today, Mommy! You were so excited, you couldn't wait to tell everyone. All you could do all day was smile, and life was perfect. You have a beautiful smile, Mommy. It will be the first face I will see in my life, and it will be the best thing I see in my life. I know it already.
Today was the day you told Daddy. You were so excited to tell him about me! ...He wasn't happy, Mommy. He kind of got angry. I don't think that you noticed, but he did. He started to talk about something called wedlock, and money, and bills, and stuff I don't think I understand yet. You were still happy, though, so it was okay. Then he did something scary, Mommy. He hit you. I could feel you fall backward, and your hands flying up to protect me. I was okay... but I was very sad for you. You were crying then, Mommy. That's a sound I don't like. It doesn't make me feel good. It made me cry, too. He said sorry after,and he hugged you again. You forgave him, Mommy, but I'm not sure if I do. It wasn't right. You say he loves you... why would he hurt you? I don't like it, Mommy.
Finally, you can see me! Your stomach is a little bit bigger, and you're so proud of me! You went out with your mommy to buy new clothes,and you were so so so happy. You sing to me, too. You have the most beautiful voice in the whole wide world. When you sing is when I'm happiest. And you talk to me, and I feel safe. So safe. You just wait and see, Mommy. When I am born I will be perfect just for you. I will make you proud, and I will love you with all of my heart.
I can move my hands and feet now, Mommy. I do it because you put your hands on your belly to feel me, and I giggle. You giggle, too. I love you, Mommy.
Daddy came to see you today, Mommy. I got really scared. He was acting funny and he wasn't talking right. He said he didn't want you. I don't know why, but that's what he said. And he hit you again. I got angry, Mommy. When I grow up I promise I won't let you get hurt! I promise to protect you. Daddy is bad. I don't care if you think that he is a good person, I think he's bad. But he hit you, and he said he didn't want us. He doesn't like me. Why doesn't he like me, Mommy?
You didn't talk to me tonight, Mommy. Is everything okay?
It's been three days since you saw Daddy. You haven't talked to me or touched me or anything since that. Don't you still love me, Mommy? I still love you. I think you feel sad. The only time I feel you is when you sleep. You sleep funny, kind of curled up on your side. And you hug me with your arms, and I feel safe and warm again. Why don't you do
that when you're awake, any more?
I'm 21 weeks old today, Mommy. Aren't you proud of me? We're going somewhere today, and it's somewhere new. I'm excited. It looks like a hospital, too. I want to be a doctor when I grow up, Mommy. Did I tell you that? I hope you're as excited as I am. I can't wait.
Mommy, I'm getting scared. Your heart is still beating, but I don't know what you are thinking. The doctor is talking to you. I think something's going to happen soon. I'm really, really, really scared,
Mommy. Please tell me you love me. Then I will feel safe again. I love you!
Mommy, what are they doing to me!? It hurts! Please make them stop! It feels bad! Please, Mommy, please please help me! Make them stop!
Don't worry Mommy, I'm safe. I'm in heaven with the angels now. They told me what you did, and they said it's called an abortion.
Why, Mommy? Why did you do it? Don't you love me any more? Why did you get rid of me? I'm really, really, really sorry if I did something wrong, Mommy. I love you, Mommy! I love you with all of my heart. Why don't you love me? What did I do to deserve what they did to me? I want to live, Mommy! Please! It really, really hurts to see you not care
about me, and not talk to me. Didn't I love you enough? Please say you'll keep me, Mommy! I want to live smile and watch the clouds andsee your face and grow up and be a doctor. I don't want to be here, I want you to love me again! I'm really really really sorry if I did something wrong. I love you!
I love you, Mommy.
Every abortion is just…
One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Laugh Damn it!! Laugh!
Laugh till the pieces of broken relationship bruise your existence and you no more exist!
Laugh till you loose all the pain. Laugh aloud till you become numb and cannot feel anything! Laugh damn it! Laugh!
© Rabea Kamran
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