Smother Her Dead

It happens  when you are all happy and satisfied and having the best of your times but the little part of you resurfaces. 

It's  the part that you hated, a part which makes you toss and turn in bed. That little part of your younger self is like a blood thirsty python. It takes its fangs out in the dark of night and injects it's  poison into you, paralysing you, drowning you in despair, something that is beyond your control.

To win yourself back the only choice you have is to smother the younger you dead. Kill it with your bare hands, throw it into the deepest and darkest alleys of your mind so that the present you can live...

The Lost Me

Yes, i was lost. Life took it's toll, learned new things, matured a lot. Nursed my wounds, sewed myself up, Got my self a new life, learned to love myself for who i am. Fell in Love like hell. Became the one i wanted and found contentment. But yeah i lost my fire for writing and became tamed. Opened my blog after years. Would continue soon InshaAllah...

Alhumdulilah

Alhumdullilah i have passed me final year exam and i am a doctor now. From now on i have to get used to the word doctor sahiba associated wuth my name. It a struggle and hardwork that i and my family has been doing since my nursery class which has finally paid off. 
All i san say that i am a proud daughter of proud parents :) Thank you so much God for blessing me with lots of happiness and thank you so much my dear readers for your love and support:)

God! am soo happy!

The Sweet Blissful Sleep

Love Of Today

You Love me, 
Miss me, 
Kiss me,

and then

Leave me...


Rabea Kamran

Purple Love

Wishes

We all have thousands of wishes. They pop in our hearts like popcorns being made. We wish on almost everything, a shooting star, eyelashes when its raining etc. But what do we do to make them come true, we are bound by inhibitions, those which aren't obvious but they stop us from attaining our goals.

Life is short, there is so much limited time. When we will get old we will look back to our unfulfilled wishes and sigh. Though none of us knows even if we would make it to tender old age or not. We dont know anything what gonna happen tomorrow, but yes we know what we want from life.

So do it! Take that plunge you always wanted to. Say it to the loved one how much you care for them. Visit your dream place that you have dreamt of going but didn't had time off from work. Go buy that dress you always wanted to wear. So that when you get old you don't need to sigh, you just have a satisfied smile on your face that you followed your heart. Results do not matter, what matters is that you finally did it.


Rabea Kamran

The Spring Fairy

On Fairytales

When we were kids we were told fairytales, most of them starting with the line "Once upon a time". I loved them as a child, because of the fantasy and the cuteness of princesses, the handsome and kind prince and how everything ended in a happily ever after.
However this isn't the truth..

When i was told the story of Cinderella, i was told she was a young pretty girl who was tormented by her stepsisters and then be the help of a fairy God mother she met the prince and then they got married.
But why didn't anyone told me that she had the same life after marriage. Why didn't anyone told me even after getting married a girl has to work like a mule and the place of step sisters and step mother is taken by sister in laws and mother in law. Why didn't someone told me that?

When i was told the story of beauty and the beast, i was told there was a beast a really beautiful girl fell in love with him. She kissed him as he was nearly dying and he became a prince again. 
Why didn't somebody tole me that in real life your prince charming turns into a beast. That beast beats and curses the woman who loves him. Why didn't someone told me that beast turned prince charming is the cause of domestic violence.

When i was told the story of little red riding hood, i was told that there was a little girl who went into woods to meet her grandmother and a wolf got there before her. He killed her grandmother and was about to eat her when some villagers nearby killed the wolf. 
Why wasn't i told that this world is so full of wolves. Why wasn't i told that if you go out men would stare at you like wolves waiting to pounce on you at the first chance they get. Why didn't anyone told me that rapes were so common in our part of the world?

When i was told the story of sleeping beauty i was told that the princess was cursed by the evil witch and she slept for a long time until the curse was broken after hundred years by the kiss of the prince. 
Why didn't someone told me that after falling in love hearts are broken not the curses. Why didn't somebody told me it hurts. Why didn't someone told me that suicides are so common in young people? why?

The Puddle

If Life was a Chewing Gum

If life was a chewing gum, it would have been so easy to live it.It would be sweet, filled with sugar. There would have been no sorrow, just sweet talks, pleasant feelings, no sorrow no sadness. It would have been so much fun. It would be soft and chewy, you can easily chew your way through it.There would have been no difficulties, no tears, just smiles.
 
You could stretch it as much as u like, you know it kind of looks gross, but its true we all tried to stretch it as children. So would be life extending on and on, as much we want just a little pull, there wont be any deaths just st stretch life and live as much as you want.

We can pop up bubbles as much as we want. Bubbles of excitement and joy. it would be so much easier without any heart break. Whenever it broke in between we could patch it with a piece of chewing gum again and there it would be unbroken again, as new as ever.


Rabea Kamran

Freedom Atlast

Finally my final professional exams of medical ended, its been a beautiful, very tiring and a very elegant half a decade at my medical school. so am free, free, ffffrrrrrreeeeeeeee..

We are strange people, we long to be free and independent, live our life by our own will. We don't like being chained up, we want to be free like birds. But infact the reality is really different. We love slavery, we all do, we are slaves to our desires, wealth, hopes, success, to meet deadlines and to love ofcourse.
Its funny how we run from one cage to the next, we all want to touch that warm rays of sun of morning but by the end of the day we want the coziness of our cage back.

Freedom is limited, we are always bound by invisible chains, to our work, commitment, our loved ones, our relegion, culture. We say we want freedom, we say we are free people, we have freedom of speech, freedom to live, to do anything we like, but in reality we always are bound and always will be, in one way or another.


Rabea Kamran

*

I bath in the rain of divine love, each drop of wajdan washes away the impurities of sins. Let me dissolve myself in these little drops, let me melt away like salt. Let this rain take my soul's chains. Oh God please help me get rid of these demons of mine that claw in my flesh, that feed on the steams of raging blood flowing in my veins. My heart has become so feeble, its cries of tauhid have been overshadowed by the loud, vicious sounds of my nafs. Oh God let me drown this nafs of mine in the ocean of your love.


kaiye sassiyan thala wich rulian
kaiye ranjhe jogi howe


 The search of love starts from you and ends on you, the true form of love, the true ecstasy. Dont wake me up, let me drown in this love. The only way to purify my soul and body is this little drop of love, let me dissolve in it. Am so tired of walking in this desert of sin bare feet, let me quench my thirst and be lost in it like vapours...

The Interrupted Transmission

Here i stand, with the transmission of my intuition malfunctioning.The signal disruption seems to be unending. The big bang of emotions leaves the background radiation of betrayal evading the senses.

The rising temperature of my thoughts seems to melt the receiver of waves of intuition. The fuming trust erodes the sanity out of me.


As the frequency of my soul keeps switching, the transmissions seem to be a bundle of mysteries waiting to be decoded. A code, waiting to be cracked up...

The Shadow..

 

"Like a shadow.... I am, and i am not.. "
Rumi

The Story Of Success

“Success” the one thing which made the whole world crazy and it keeps getting hard to get. How many have perished in the pursuit of this seven letter thing.

The goal to which we channel all our energies and abilities. The story of success is hard and unforgiving but ,

What we don’t realize is that success itself calls out to us, everyday, five times a day and we pay no attention to it.

"Haye-Ya-lal-falah"

The Plea

Dear Pakistan,
Please get well soon...


                                                                                                    The  Patriots

The Play

This is an edited version of a post i wrote before..

As the night wore its cloak, the demons inside her came alive. Tonight she was ready to devour his love. He looked into her eyes with that dreamy look he knew what was about to come, he knew her so well. He wanted her equally as badly as she wanted him.
The snake of intimacy filled it's fangs with passion and injected it into his veins. He burned inside with the heat of passion that made him badly thirsty for her. He took her hand and kissed the wedding band in her ring finger, the silvery platinum shined in the moonlight.


She kissed him passionately unleashing her trapped demons that came alive at once. She explored every bit of his taste buds. He replied back with the increasing intensity, the thirst in his throat became more ardent as he felt heat emnating through him which wrapped them together .


He slithered rows of kisses down her body freeing it from its clothes, like petals falling off the rose. Her skin shined in the moonlight reflecting her desires. She gave her fate in his hands, all she wanted was to drown in his love. Their existence wrapped as one she engraved his soul with her name. Tonight, they had each other forever. She kissed down his spine, playing with his fantasies.


Gently and slowly he penetrated her, making her his. She moaned with the sweet pain that witnessed her loyalty to him. He could feel the sparks that emnated from the contact. Their hearts beating in unision with the fire of lust roaring in their existence, the yearning to belong to each other was finally fed.


He carved himself into her soul as he penetrated deeper into her. Her nails etched into his skin as the melody of their moans echoed into the silent, waiting night. The play continued as the fire of lust roared burning and consuming their existence.
His heart leaped like a hungry predator and finally he ejected in her all that belonged to her. They lay together ravishing the moment, their demons satisfied.

The Story Of Life and Giving Birth

Life is a risky thing, especially when its not your own that is in your hands. When you know that after God its you who stands between the death and life of your patient. You fight death, utilize all your capabilities, you strive hard to win the furious battle. You hold on to life with the edges of your fingers, even when you know it not yours.


I got a chance to assist my senior doctor in a C-Section commonly known as cesarean. Its fascinating when you bring a new baby to the world from it's mother's womb. That little thing twists and cries in your arms. The adrenaline rush that you feel when you secure the bleeding and the satisfaction that you get when you see the mother nursing her new born child that you just delivered.


I have learned that life is really really short, its delicate, it's fragile and it's priceless. Yes, it is hard, sometimes cruel, it has sorrows, pains and cries but i have seen it end in smiles and peace. Believe me those pains never last long they always end when the hope emerges and fills you completely with peace and inner satisfaction. Yes, you do have scars which remain forever, but they are your medals of passing through the tough times. Don't be upset when you look back at past, Stop the past from haunting you, make it your strength and tell yourself "I got through this, i am strong  and i deserve to be happy" 


Being a final year medical student now, am bombarded with seminars, assignments and ward duties and i have learned a lot during these days and i feel more then proud on being a doctor then i ever did.