Showing posts with label emotions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label emotions. Show all posts

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Friday, February 1, 2013

Wishes


We all have thousands of wishes. They pop in our hearts like popcorns being made. We wish on almost everything, a shooting star, eyelashes when its raining etc. But what do we do to make them come true, we are bound by inhibitions, those which aren't obvious but they stop us from attaining our goals.

Life is short, there is so much limited time. When we will get old we will look back to our unfulfilled wishes and sigh. Though none of us knows even if we would make it to tender old age or not. We dont know anything what gonna happen tomorrow, but yes we know what we want from life.

So do it! Take that plunge you always wanted to. Say it to the loved one how much you care for them. Visit your dream place that you have dreamt of going but didn't had time off from work. Go buy that dress you always wanted to wear. So that when you get old you don't need to sigh, you just have a satisfied smile on your face that you followed your heart. Results do not matter, what matters is that you finally did it.


Rabea Kamran

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

On Fairytales

When we were kids we were told fairytales, most of them starting with the line "Once upon a time". I loved them as a child, because of the fantasy and the cuteness of princesses, the handsome and kind prince and how everything ended in a happily ever after.
However this isn't the truth..


When i was told the story of Cinderella, i was told she was a young pretty girl who was tormented by her stepsisters and then be the help of a fairy God mother she met the prince and then they got married.
But why didn't anyone told me that she had the same life after marriage. Why didn't anyone told me even after getting married a girl has to work like a mule and the place of step sisters and step mother is taken by sister in laws and mother in law. Why didn't someone told me that?


When i was told the story of beauty and the beast, i was told there was a beast a really beautiful girl fell in love with him. She kissed him as he was nearly dying and he became a prince again. 
Why didn't somebody tole me that in real life your prince charming turns into a beast. That beast beats and curses the woman who loves him. Why didn't someone told me that beast turned prince charming is the cause of domestic violence.


When i was told the story of little red riding hood, i was told that there was a little girl who went into woods to meet her grandmother and a wolf got there before her. He killed her grandmother and was about to eat her when some villagers nearby killed the wolf. 
Why wasn't i told that this world is so full of wolves. Why wasn't i told that if you go out men would stare at you like wolves waiting to pounce on you at the first chance they get. Why didn't anyone told me that rapes were so common in our part of the world?


When i was told the story of sleeping beauty i was told that the princess was cursed by the evil witch and she slept for a long time until the curse was broken after hundred years by the kiss of the prince. 
Why didn't someone told me that after falling in love hearts are broken not the curses. Why didn't somebody told me it hurts. Why didn't someone told me that suicides are so common in young people? why?

Monday, January 28, 2013

If Life was a Chewing Gum


If life was a chewing gum, it would have been so easy to live it.It would be sweet, filled with sugar. There would have been no sorrow, just sweet talks, pleasant feelings, no sorrow no sadness. It would have been so much fun. It would be soft and chewy, you can easily chew your way through it.There would have been no difficulties, no tears, just smiles.
 
You could stretch it as much as u like, you know it kind of looks gross, but its true we all tried to stretch it as children. So would be life extending on and on, as much we want just a little pull, there wont be any deaths just st stretch life and live as much as you want.

We can pop up bubbles as much as we want. Bubbles of excitement and joy. it would be so much easier without any heart break. Whenever it broke in between we could patch it with a piece of chewing gum again and there it would be unbroken again, as new as ever.


Rabea Kamran

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Freedom Atlast


Finally my final professional exams of medical ended, its been a beautiful, very tiring and a very elegant half a decade at my medical school. so am free, free, ffffrrrrrreeeeeeeee..

We are strange people, we long to be free and independent, live our life by our own will. We don't like being chained up, we want to be free like birds. But infact the reality is really different. We love slavery, we all do, we are slaves to our desires, wealth, hopes, success, to meet deadlines and to love ofcourse.
Its funny how we run from one cage to the next, we all want to touch that warm rays of sun of morning but by the end of the day we want the coziness of our cage back.

Freedom is limited, we are always bound by invisible chains, to our work, commitment, our loved ones, our relegion, culture. We say we want freedom, we say we are free people, we have freedom of speech, freedom to live, to do anything we like, but in reality we always are bound and always will be, in one way or another.


Rabea Kamran

Monday, April 9, 2012

The Interrupted Transmission



Here i stand, with the transmission of my intuition malfunctioning.The signal disruption seems to be unending. The big bang of emotions leaves the background radiation of betrayal evading the senses.

The rising temperature of my thoughts seems to melt the receiver of waves of intuition. The fuming trust erodes the sanity out of me.


As the frequency of my soul keeps switching, the transmissions seem to be a bundle of mysteries waiting to be decoded. A code, waiting to be cracked up...



The Shadow..


"Like a shadow.... I am, and i am not.. "
Rumi

Monday, December 12, 2011

The Bubble





Do you know how it feels when you are floating in a bubble of dreams? That it takes you higher and higher soaring into the sky but you know that when you will fall down you would hit the ground so hard that you would break into so many tiny pieces that you yourself cannot collect.


When you know that if you keep floating more the more badly you will get hurt, but you just keep sailing through air in the beauty of that glassy buble. It's so comforting and so enchanting that you dont want to let go of it.


You are no where neither the heavens nor the earth, you are suspended somewhere in the middle, when the gravity does gets weak but never lets you go, it just lets your srtings go loose.
When the starry sky and the colorful rainbows surround you, you dance in your pleasure in your own little bubble but you dont realize how fragile it is....

Friday, December 2, 2011

The Little One

He cried in joy as he came out of his mother's womb. His little eyes could not produce tears this early, he cried in joy, happy to enter this world.
He imagined the love of his mother that he was going to receive, the warmth and care that would be only for him, the affection that his father would give him.


He was laid in the cold. It was so warm in the womb, he shivered slightly, his little body seemed so delicate. Finally he could move his little feet and hand freely without hurting his mother. He cried with more joy at the freedom that he had. His little ears could pick up the sounds of passing traffic around him, he longed to hear his mother's voice that he had heard all this time when he was developing into human, the sweet voice which had helped him grow.


His little hands explored the surroundings, it was wet and it smelled bad. Maybe thats how this new world is he had thought. Suddenly it started raining, he cried with glee as the rain drops fell on his new born skin. But the rain drops kept pouring at him and he shivered with cold. No one came to comfort him. No mother to keep him warm in her embrace, no dad to hug him and kiss his forehead. No relatives to make noise and the gleeful chatter, all he heard was the sound of traffic passing by the garbage chute in which he was abandoned.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

My Wings



I wonder what people mean when they talk about wings, for me they have different meanings..


I feel like soaring in the clouds when i make my parents proud of me, or when someone praises me in front of my mum and dad and i see dad's chest swell with pride.


I feel the clouds passing by me when my little brother comes to me with his maths problems and when i solve them he asks me "Apne kya PhD ki hai maths mein"


I feel like touching the sky when i make people smile, when i help my patients, when i make aunties smile on my trip back to home on bus everyday. 


I feel like bathing in the shining sun in the sky when i play with kids, colour with them, tickle them and see them laughing.


And i feel like taking slides on the rainbows when he makes my heart flutter like a butterfly by making me believe that he would always be mine...

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Fire Of Love

"Oh God
let all lovers be content.
Give them happy endings.
Let their lives be celebrations.
Let their hearts dance in the Fire of Your Love.. "


 ♥  ♥ Rumi  ♥  ♥

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Dear Mommy

This is written to highlight the evil of abortion, it made me so touchy when i read it. i thought to share it on my blog...


Hi, Mommy.I'm your baby. You don't know me yet, I'm only a fewweeks old. You're going to find out about me soon, though, I promise. Let me tell you some things about me. My name is John, and I've got beautiful brown eyes and black hair. Well, I don't have it yet, but I will when I'm born. I'm going to be your only child, and you'll call me your one and only. I'm going to grow up without a daddy mostly, but we have each other. We'll help each other, and love each other. I want to be a doctor when I grow up.


You found out about me today, Mommy! You were so excited, you couldn't wait to tell everyone. All you could do all day was smile, and life was perfect. You have a beautiful smile, Mommy. It will be the first face I will see in my life, and it will be the best thing I see in my life. I know it already.


Today was the day you told Daddy. You were so excited to tell him about me! ...He wasn't happy, Mommy. He kind of got angry. I don't think that you noticed, but he did. He started to talk about something called wedlock, and money, and bills, and stuff I don't think I understand yet. You were still happy, though, so it was okay. Then he did something scary, Mommy. He hit you. I could feel you fall backward, and your hands flying up to protect me. I was okay... but I was very sad for you. You were crying then, Mommy. That's a sound I don't like. It 
doesn't make me feel good. It made me cry, too. He said sorry after,and he hugged you again. You forgave him, Mommy, but I'm not sure if I do. It wasn't right. You say he loves you... why would he hurt you? I don't like it, Mommy.



Finally, you can see me! Your stomach is a little bit bigger, and you're so proud of me! You went out with your mommy to buy new clothes,and you were so so so happy. You sing to me, too. You have the most beautiful voice in the whole wide world. When you sing is when I'm happiest. And you talk to me, and I feel safe. So safe. You just wait and see, Mommy. When I am born I will be perfect just for you. I will make you proud, and I will love you with all of my heart.


I can move my hands and feet now, Mommy. I do it because you put your hands on your belly to feel me, and I giggle. You giggle, too. I love you, Mommy.


Daddy came to see you today, Mommy. I got really scared. He was acting funny and he wasn't talking right. He said he didn't want you. I don't know why, but that's what he said. And he hit you again. I got angry, Mommy. When I grow up I promise I won't let you get hurt! I promise to protect you. Daddy is bad. I don't care if you think that he is a good person, I think he's bad. But he hit you, and he said he didn't want us. He doesn't like me. Why doesn't he like me, Mommy?


You didn't talk to me tonight, Mommy. Is everything okay?


It's been three days since you saw Daddy. You haven't talked to me or touched me or anything since that. Don't you still love me, Mommy? I still love you. I think you feel sad. The only time I feel you is when you sleep. You sleep funny, kind of curled up on your side. And you hug me with your arms, and I feel safe and warm again. Why don't you do
that when you're awake, any more?


I'm 21 weeks old today, Mommy. Aren't you proud of me? We're going somewhere today, and it's somewhere new. I'm  excited. It looks like a hospital, too. I want to be a doctor when I grow up, Mommy. Did I tell you that? I hope you're as excited as I am. I can't wait.


Mommy, I'm getting scared. Your heart is still beating, but I don't know what you are thinking. The doctor is talking to you. I think something's going to happen soon. I'm really, really, really scared,
Mommy. Please tell me you love me. Then I will feel safe again. I love you!



Mommy, what are they doing to me!? It hurts! Please make them stop! It feels bad! Please, Mommy, please please help me! Make them stop!


Don't worry Mommy, I'm safe. I'm in heaven with the angels now. They told me what you did, and they said it's called an abortion.


Why, Mommy? Why did you do it? Don't you love me any more? Why did you get rid of me? I'm really, really, really sorry if I did something wrong, Mommy. I love you, Mommy! I love you with all of my heart. Why don't you love me? What did I do to deserve what they did to me? I want to live, Mommy! Please! It really, really hurts to see you not care
about me, and not talk to me. Didn't I love you enough? Please say you'll keep me, Mommy! I want to live smile and watch the clouds andsee your face and grow up and be a doctor. I don't want to be here, I want you to love me again! I'm really really really sorry if I did something wrong. I love you!


I love you, Mommy.



Every abortion is just…

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Dear Immortal

Dear Sis,
Been a year since you left us, but your scent still remains, even the harsh winds of time can never erase the traces etched by you on our hearts. 
I know that you are happy up there and we all try our best to do so too and as expected, i have completely failed to tread on your footsteps for the family. My sincere apologies for that.
You are still here honey and always will be, in my text books as your hand written comments, in those little pranks you played, in the love you gave to the little ones, even in the little mixture of tears and smiles of mum and dad when we talk about you remembering your humor. 


Our room is as it was, though i have a new craze to paint the walls, you know they looked so dull. I just added color to them and dad keeps saying i destroyed them with twisted smile and then tells everyone "did you saw how my girl painted the walls? the sketches?"  and yes, brother still remains to be as irritating as ever. 


I have overcome my problem of having nightmares finally as i don't sleep a lot now and am so tired that i don't even bother remembering them. But my memory is as fresh of that day and the days which followed them as if it was yesterday. I can still feel my hands caressing your cheeks when the doctor told me that you were no more with us and yes, i still cry like the way i did at that time. 


Life hasn't been easy for me from that day, but yes i have matured, well that's what i think, mum and dad oppose this idea of mine with a fervent enthusiasm. All i can say that i have learned to rise above all the obstacles, to tackle torture and drama, most of all i have learned the sense of judging people which came soon after you left me. 


I know you are there watching us from the heavens with that awesome smile of yours. I would keep praying for you with every prayer that i offer, especially on the night of Mairaj when u left us all. May Allah forgive you and bless you with all his humbleness, May your soul rest in peace and may He give you the high ranks of paradise. Ameen. 

Sunday, April 17, 2011

The Lost Innocence

The innocence fading, infiltrated with maturity. The harsh experiences molding an innocent soft burning coal into a hard and unforgiving diamond. 


The test of endurance costs those innocent and sweet smiles, the blessings of ignorance and the love of having teddy bears and dolls as best friends. 


Finally, a time when teddy bears are no more hugged and toy trains and cars no longer the best charm of life. 
When the world reveals itself, the masks are removed and eyes opened to reality. Just like the wind reshaping the sand dunes. 
© Rabea Kamran

Friday, April 15, 2011

A Little Thought

This is another share that was worth sharing...


Pencil: I'm sorry

Eraser: For what? You didn't do anything wrong.


Pencil: I'm sorry because you get hurt because of me. Whenever I made a mistake, you're always there to erase it. But as you make my mistakes vanish, you lose a part of yourself. You get smaller and smaller each time.


Eraser: That's true. But I don't really mind. You see, I was made to do this. I was made to help you whenever you do something wrong. Even though one day, I know I'll be gone and you'll replace me with a new one, I'm actually happy with my job. So please, stop worrying. I hate seeing you sad.


I found this conversation between the pencil and the eraser very inspirational.


Parents are like the eraser whereas their children are the pencil. They're always there for their children, cleaning up their mistakes. Sometimes along the way, they get hurt, and become smaller / older, and eventually pass on. Though their children will eventually find someone new (spouse), but parents are still happy with what they do for their children, and will always hate seeing their precious ones worrying, or sad.


All my life, I've been the pencil. And it pains me to see the eraser that is my parents getting smaller and smaller each day. For I know that one day, all that I'm left with would be eraser shavings and memories of what I used to have.

Friday, April 8, 2011

The Beauty Of Childhood

The innocence of Thoughts and actions. When we are lost in the stories of Cinderella and Snow White. When the most important thing in life is watching cartoons on time. When mothers knows that we ate ice cream because it's smeared all over near lips. When we have white whiskers after drinking milk.


A time when the only thing that hurts is the bruised knee. When an antiseptic is the worst nightmare of life. When we believe in tooth fairies and keep our broken teeth under our pillow and find money in place of it in the morning. 
A time when girls make ponies and boys play with toy cars. When we can lay down on the floor crying for the toy in the middle of the super market. When balloons are the best charm of life. When coloring is the best past time and playing with clay is the sweetest bliss. 


The time when we wonder at the shining moon and the twinkling stars and when all the energy is spent in singing poems on the top of voice. 
The most beautiful time, with no leg pulling, beck biting, broken hearts, busy work schedules or the burden of responsibilities. When everything shines and gleams and is pure, innocent and sweet.


© Rabea Kamran


Friday, March 18, 2011

The Beating Hearts..

Standing in the Operation Theater, learning to operate, sometimes makes me believe that i am one of the few luckiest people in the world. I could have traded anything to be standing here..
When i see hearts beating on the surgery table, working hard to deliver blood to each and every cell of the body, working selflessly to keep the whole body alive, providing nourishment to them at their door step. It reminds me of how our lives are supposed to be. 


Curing the diseased hearts have always been fascinating, but the corroded emotions seem to be burnt forever by the acid of hate. 
The little ventricles rhythmically contract at the right time with just the right force, hiding the emotions somewhere in it's delicate framework. Isn't it fascinating how people make places in our heart but still don't show up even when the walls are cut open in a by-pass surgery? :)